Vox Newman
The Lollipop Rainbow Party
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So, I was chatting with a chipmunk today and he said this bird he’d spoken with earlier was blathering about a moose she met who was moaning about the fact that he was invited to the party of the century by magical pixies and how he couldn’t make it. The party in question was being DJ’d by Xaxthanol 6 of the Intergalactic Happiness Empire in sector 85192.4 and taking place at the Foam Nightclub in the old city district in Atlantis.
Xax is on her third Lollipop Rainbow Party tour and this is her first visit to Earth. When asked about the party last week she was quoted as saying “Humans are a total upper, yo.  No one knows how to party like them. My beats are gonna bring them to a whole new level.â€
Showing vs Telling
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There’s a great amount of talk in the writing community in regards to prose (especially in fiction) and this talk usually begins with the idea of ‘showing vs telling’. The trouble is, as far as I can tell, it seems to be a general idea with few specifics offered as to how to achieve this. When I was younger I read quite a few books on the subject and in the last decade there’ve been a plethora more (some now in podcast form).
But, what I have yet to encounter is a guide that actually explains the strategy necessary to achieve this. It’s almost as if a writer is on a quest to find the answer for themselves. It’s a trial and they’re expected to ‘feel it out’. I’d like to think I’m in the know on this idea, as when I go back and read what I’ve written in the last decade, for the most part I’ve avoided many of the mistakes I’ve seen in other writing and I’ve managed to eradicate the mistakes I myself used to make. That’s certainly not to say that my writing is perfect, but there’s no such thing as perfect when discussing human creativity, just bad, good enough or great etc. I’d like to imagine I’ve avoided bad, terrible, atrocious etc.
Tags: advice, bad writing, characters, dialogue, good writing, my opinion, showing, telling, writing, yukio mishima
Robotic Race Riots the Future?
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Robots: what are they good for? Absolutely nothing! Hwaa!
Call me a racist if you want but I think that most robots are a bunch of good for nothing bleeping and blooping layabouts. Not to mention the stink! It’s like they’ve never heard of an oil change with all those lubricants drying up and burning in their joints. For iGod’s sake why can’t they take a Castrol bath once in a while?
I know, I know: robots are helpful and for the most part better educated than most of the people who were actually born on this planet. I mean, case in point we wouldn’t have steel wool if it wasn’t for robot sheep. And yes, they help make our cars, which when you think about it are like big robo-pets. When the Decepticons come, I’ll totally want the Autobots to help us out. Not to mention that they assist us with our genealogy research when we go to amusement parks. So, yes, there are a great many things that robots do to contribute to our society.
Tags: 2001 a space odyssey, AI, android, autobot, bitches be pumpin', captain power, cyber men, cylon, dalek, Decepticon, fembot, lost in space, metal men, racism, robot, star wars, terminator, transformer, writing
How I Got Fired by the Illuminati
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You know how it is: you start a new job with all this breathless excitement and anxiety-ridden exuberance and you think it’s going to change your life.
Well, it did change my life: I was certain when the Grand Master of the Lodge informed me that I would be the Illuminati’s newest recruit that I would be able to learn all I needed to know about the Gregorian Calendar. But that 
myriad geocentric dating system was too baffling for me to come to terms with and the black cabal was less than impressed that I kept confusing Ra with Aunbis. This all added up to me getting the boot in 2009, and since then I’ve felt a little empty.
Tags: adventure, dick cheney, Egypt, Flat Earth Society, gregorian calendar, Illuminati, Justin Bieber, libya, Ra, Set, writing
New Models
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When you choose a profession (or a profession chooses you) there’s generally a straightforward path to follow. This is true in principal and strictly true to some professions more than others. This may also be decreasingly true over the last century as more and more skills are considered transferable and knowledge is regarded as more fluid.
But one profession that has shown little change in how the layman can enter it is writing: especially fiction writing. It seems to be purposely mired in the same archaic fog-of-war system that it was two centuries past. When you read books (or blogs) on how to get published, the frequency of contradictory information increases with each source. The only thing that remains consistent is the query letter: beyond that, it’s a craps-shoot where, even if you knew where you threw the dice, you can’t read them because a) it’s too dark and b) they don’t have dots or numbers, but alien symbols instead. Sometimes they aren’t even dice after throwing them: they could turn into doves and fly away.
