Vox Newman

Emperor Harper

April 13, 2011
5 Comments

It’s the day after the English language leaders’ debate for the Canadian federal election.  What I wonder is if the issue that should be paramount in voters’ minds is getting the traction it needs.  The issue I’m talking about is tied to how the Harper government failed, triggering an election.  The minority government of Stephen Harper’s Conservative party was defeated by an unprecedented parliamentary motion.  What happened needs restating: the Harper government was not only dissolved by a vote of non-confidence, it was also found in contempt of Parliament.  This is the first time a sitting Prime Minister’s government has been found in contempt of Parliament. emperor harper nero plays fiddle piano while rome canada burns

Is this serious? Yes.  And is it something that should be an election issue?  Harper doesn’t seem to think so but then again he likes to mislead Canadians anyway.

“Whoa!  What does that mean?” you ask.

And my answer is that Harper fabricated a myth when he first faced the wrath of the opposition parties in the winter of 2008/09.  I remember, during that time-period speaking with a friend who had voted for the Conservative party in the previous election.  She was very concerned that the Liberals and NDP were acting illegally.  I was extremely confused by her reaction because up until that moment I was under the impression that the workings of our Parliamentary system were common knowledge at least as far as minority governments were concerned.  Of course, what happened to Joe Clark has been separated by 30 years of relatively stable majority federal governments, but I had assumed up until that point that the meat of the tale were still part of our national zeitgeist.

It turns out that I was wrong.

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Welcome to Middle Ontario

March 12, 2011
2 Comments

I asked myself last night, ‘how in the hell did I manage to drive to Barrie on a flat tire?’ but I didn’t bother to answer: that’s just stupid.  It’d be way too circular: as if I’m both Acrisius and the Oracle.  You don’t want to mess with that shit.  In any case, I changed the tire: I had to, even though I didn’t necessarily want to.

It was just something that had to be done even if it was something that was difficult and unnecessarily exhausting.  That baffles me as it’s just five bolts to be removed and then reattached.  I even have a hydraulic jack.  It really shouldn’t drain me the way it does.  But for some reason it’s about as exhausting as I imagine turtle tapping is to poor old Mario.  Despite the fact that it was a draining experience, at least I was able to make my escape from Barrie.  That’s always good.

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Patio Season

February 18, 2011
12 Comments

In Canada we have a fifth season, sort of an umbrella over three seasons (Spring, Summer, Fall).  Coined Patio Season (probably by a beer company), it begins partway through Spring or if the Hosers are lucky, at the tail end of Winter.  Many years it opens in fits and starts as bar and restaurant owners drag their chairs and tables toward their railed-in curb only to have to cover them when chill winds and snows descend for brief periods in between sunny days.

You’ll know that patio season has begun because you’ll see a typical Canadian wearing a tee-shirt and possibly shorts and sandals in weather most peoples of the world would consider wearing a winter coat for.  We’ll still wear the toque though, because we’re not stupid: we know most body-heat escapes through the head.

Are you still confused as to what Patio Season is?  Well, it’s that time of year that Canadians bellow “Damn the wind, the chills, the freezing rain, the snow, the slush, the ice and the umpteen other words we’ve adapted to vilify winter!  It’s time to drink beer outside!”  That’s all Canadians want to do.  We want to drink beer outside. That’s right: “Peace, Order, Good Government and beer outside!”

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