Vox Newman

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

If there were two movies that to my young mind shaped my view of the world, right now I’d say they were Planet of the Nerds and Revenge of the Apes.  You all remember these movies right?  Who couldn’t?

In the first movie you have intrepid Nietzschean astronauts flung far into the future who discover to their dread that nerds have taken over the planet (sort of the opposite of this movie).  It’s full of dramatic performances and great lines like ‘You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!’ and ‘Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty nerd!’

The other movie, of course, was your typical pubescent sex-romp-coming-of-age-tale.  Apes get their own fraternity and steal a bunch of sorority girls’ panties and put on some new-age laser-light show.  And of course there’s Ogre yelling ‘Apes!’ from the balcony.

Classic.

No.  Wait.

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