I wish that damn groundhog would actually tell us when spring will be sprung. No more games with shadows. I know he’s not stupid: he’s not really afraid of his shadow. Based on my research, I also happen to know he can speak the Queen’s English. So Willy needs to stop all this crap and come clean! Oh God oh God oh God for the love of mud pies, when will spring be here?
You see, I have some stuff to do that doesn’t involve snow, and by stuff I mean life. There’s a great many people who have put off doing things because they can’t be bothered to expend the effort it would require in winter.
There’s a man north of here who has a body to bury: man gave the goosy eye so he done had to be shot. Problem is the ground has been frozen so he’s had to keep him in the freezer. Well, where’s he gonna put his pizza pops in the meantime? Damnit!
Road trips are like a cult TV show. You hear about it from one of your friends, and it doesn’t sound like anything you’d be interested in: you might even wish they’d shut up about it. You might think, based on what you know about road trips, that there’s a group of people that can’t stand where they are and need to get the hell out of Dodge as soon and as often as they can.
I don’t think that’s it. This seems more likely to be the case of the frequent traveler who relies on airplanes to take them to far off destinations or the obsessed traveler who needs to find themselves by backpacking through [insert continent here].