Vox Newman
Robotic Race Riots the Future?
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Robots: what are they good for? Absolutely nothing! Hwaa!
Call me a racist if you want but I think that most robots are a bunch of good for nothing bleeping and blooping layabouts. Not to mention the stink! It’s like they’ve never heard of an oil change with all those lubricants drying up and burning in their joints. For iGod’s sake why can’t they take a Castrol bath once in a while?
I know, I know: robots are helpful and for the most part better educated than most of the people who were actually born on this planet. I mean, case in point we wouldn’t have steel wool if it wasn’t for robot sheep. And yes, they help make our cars, which when you think about it are like big robo-pets. When the Decepticons come, I’ll totally want the Autobots to help us out. Not to mention that they assist us with our genealogy research when we go to amusement parks. So, yes, there are a great many things that robots do to contribute to our society.
Tags: 2001 a space odyssey, AI, android, autobot, bitches be pumpin', captain power, cyber men, cylon, dalek, Decepticon, fembot, lost in space, metal men, racism, robot, star wars, terminator, transformer, writing
Come on Spring, Damnit!
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I wish that damn groundhog would actually tell us when spring will be sprung. No more games with shadows. I know he’s not stupid: he’s not really afraid of his shadow. Based on my research, I also happen to know he can speak the Queen’s English. So Willy needs to stop all this crap and come clean! Oh God oh God oh God for the love of mud pies, when will spring be here?
You see, I have some stuff to do that doesn’t involve snow, and by stuff I mean life. There’s a great many people who have put off doing things because they can’t be bothered to expend the effort it would require in winter.
There’s a man north of here who has a body to bury: man gave the goosy eye so he done had to be shot. Problem is the ground has been frozen so he’s had to keep him in the freezer. Well, where’s he gonna put his pizza pops in the meantime? Damnit!
How I Got Fired by the Illuminati
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You know how it is: you start a new job with all this breathless excitement and anxiety-ridden exuberance and you think it’s going to change your life.
Well, it did change my life: I was certain when the Grand Master of the Lodge informed me that I would be the Illuminati’s newest recruit that I would be able to learn all I needed to know about the Gregorian Calendar. But that 
myriad geocentric dating system was too baffling for me to come to terms with and the black cabal was less than impressed that I kept confusing Ra with Aunbis. This all added up to me getting the boot in 2009, and since then I’ve felt a little empty.
Tags: adventure, dick cheney, Egypt, Flat Earth Society, gregorian calendar, Illuminati, Justin Bieber, libya, Ra, Set, writing
