Don’t miss it! Today only, the criminal underworld is having a garage sale: a market on the shores of the Black Sea. Setting aside their differences, members of the Yakuza, Triads, United Nations, Hell’s Angels, Russian and Italian mobs etc have put aside their differences to bring you this once in a lifetime opportunity.
Need spare pieces for a kneecap? Look no further. We’ve got everything you need, such as Sun Tzu’s lesser known work: the ‘Art of the Drive by’.   If you’re in need of cash, all of our vendors can spot you: prime plus 1000.
So, I was chatting with a chipmunk today and he said this bird he’d spoken with earlier was blathering about a moose she met who was moaning about the fact that he was invited to the party of the century by magical pixies and how he couldn’t make it. The party in question was being DJ’d by Xaxthanol 6 of the Intergalactic Happiness Empire in sector 85192.4 and taking place at the Foam Nightclub in the old city district in Atlantis.
Xax is on her third Lollipop Rainbow Party tour and this is her first visit to Earth. When asked about the party last week she was quoted as saying “Humans are a total upper, yo.  No one knows how to party like them. My beats are gonna bring them to a whole new level.â€